Why did you start selling cannabis topicals?
As it turns out, one of our founders is a pretty weak waterskier. To allow him to save face and remain anonymous, let’s pretend that Jack’s real name is Skip. So, Skip goes waterskiing and cleverly manages to rupture a disk in his back. How did you even do that, Skip? Waterskiing is just not that hard. During his recovery, he found cannabis a more effective (and less terrifying) solution than opioids and other scary drugs rife with side-effects like Prednisone and Gabapentin.
How old are you?
Five, but a precocious five.
Where were you founded?
We didn’t know we were losted!
We’re based in beautiful Bend, Oregon. You can find our THC products throughout Oregon and California and you can get our CBD products online. Sorry, but current laws prevent us from selling products containing THC online.
Do HDP products make good gifts?
Apparently, there is a new law being proposed that will make our topicals the only present you’re legally allowed to give as a gift. Don’t look that up. We checked already.
I’m a marsupial. Can I use your products?
Probably not. Most extant marsupials live in Australia, and as cannabis is not internationally legal, it’s difficult to think of a way for you to get it. If you did have some, it would probably work really well for you. Bummer about the whole “not having opposable thumbs” thing, though. You might want to phone a friend to lend a hand. Or, um, thumb.
How innovative are your topicals?
“The biggest innovation since penicillin.” -Alexander Fleming
Do you pronounce it La Croy or La Cwoh?
La Croy. We don’t speak French. Oui oui.
Do you test on animals?
Goodness, no. We hoard our topicals for ourselves.
My skin is very dry and scaly. Moss keeps growing on me. I am in desperate need of a product to help me. Also (not sure if this is relevant), I am a rock.
Whew, we thought you were going to say that you were either a lizard or someone who washes your hands every few minutes like we do. Fortunately, at least one of our employees is also a rock (maybe you can meet up??) and thinks our products are great.
What if I covered my body in lotion and squiggled around like a slug?
In our experience, this will always get you a second date. Also, please consider posting a video for us on social media @highdesertpure.
But wait, I have more questions! Can I pester you?
By all means, please pester us!
“The kind of guy you’d like to grab a beer with.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Skiing Mt. Bachelor
“I lit myself on fire again.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Running through the wilderness like a gazelle
Captain o' Content
“So beautiful! So clever! So totally writing these bios!”
-Definitely not Laura
Favorite Oregonian past time: Finding the best local coffee
Topical Sous Chef
“There are lots of good humans out there, but Tamie is the best. Trust us. We are experts.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Spoiling the aforementioned dogs
Keeper of Order
“Man, we didn’t stand a chance.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Running in her speedy purple shoes
Executive Director of Finance
“I have given you a stuffed squirrel and now we will play fetch.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Putting her stuffed squirrel on your feet so that you might play fetch
“A really scary dude.”
-Some elk he hunted
Favorite Oregonian past time: Checking out new dispensaries
“Just the best person to play fetch with.”
-His dog, Daisy
Favorite Oregonian past time: Biking all over the place
-Ken Kesey (really!)
Favorite Oregonian past time: Name that Grateful Dead tune
Bath Bomb Phenom
“She lost us again and we miss her terribly.”
-Her car keys
Favorite Oregonian past time: Exploring her new city!
Tour Guide and Brand Ambassador
“He knows so much about us! It’s so flattering!”
Favorite Oregonian past time: DJ-ing at KPOV radio
California Topical Chef
“I love Lisa! She’s as sweet as me!”
Favorite past time: Baking up a storm
“She is so mean to us.”
-Aches and pains
Favorite Oregonian past time: Cooking with local ingredients
“He never leaves home without me.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Skiing through the backcountry
Pat of All Trades
“Objectively, he’s the best Patrick.”
Favorite Oregonian past time: Listening to Joe Rogan podcasts and bringing a cheerful Oregonian attitude everywhere he goes
“Oh! I didn’t see you there!”
-Maddie, whose many talents include being easily startled
Favorite Oregonian past time: Enjoying the Oregon sunshine
“She introduces us to so many people!”
-The HDP Love
Favorite Oregonian past time: Camping with her family
California Brand Ambassador
“Lindsey is even cooler than laser pointers. Really.”
-Her cat, Trixie
Favorite past time: Listening to music and finding the best summer concerts